I Suffer From Phantom Vibration Syndrome

It's hard to come to grips with, but it's true. Ever since I began using text messaging as a major form of communication with friends, it's been effecting my life. My leg gets the sensation that it is feeling the vibrations from my phone when there is no vibrating to be felt. It's a very strange sensation, especially when I don't have my phone on my person. I know it's sitting on the table over yonder, but I still check my pocket when the phantom vibration occurs.

It started over the summer from the increase in text messages I received. I was wearing baggy shorts at the time and the phone would not always be in contact with a part of my body. The vibrations weren't strong enough to feel it up around the belt/waist area so I had to attune the receptors of feeling in my leg to sense the slightest form of vibration. I think I may have the ability to feel subtle shifts in the Earth's crust. Tests are being conducted to that affect, but no solid results have come about.

As a result of the more receptive sensors in my legs I believe this condition came about. Is there anyone that I can blame/sue for having to suffer from this affliction? No. I could blame the people who were sending me text messages and calling while I was in class, but that would be ridiculous. Should I blame society for not allowing a phone to ring in public places without getting looks of disgust as a theater full of paying customers are trying to watch a movie or a teacher is conducting a mind-numbing lecture? No. It annoys the hell out of me when other people let their phones ring, and I'm not going to be hypocritical. Can I blame the phone manufacturer for not making the vibration so obvious that my fillings would shake loose in my teeth? No. I like my fillings where they are.

I just want everyone to know that if I reach into my pocket and pull nothing out, it's because I'm vibrating. Please do not poke fun at my at my handicap. It's a serious problem that I'm trying to deal with as best I can. I don't make fun of your stupid looking haircut or that weird thing you do with that thing. You know what I'm talking about.