What Was The Point of All This Again?

The semester is almost over and that feeling of "I'm sick of this shit" has come back right on cue. I thought for sure that once I had gotten this event out of the way things would be much easier and of course I was wrong. Getting that event together was the thing for my class, but I've still got a few things left to do. I'm now really far behind in two of my other classes and being in the "I'm sick of this shit" mode does not help.

I can't remember a semester were I worked my way out of this funk. I always just seemed to get out of it somehow. All I want to do is sleep all day and drink all night. For the past week and a half, that's been close to what I've been doing too. I have learned one thing from this that I'm sure I've learned before but obviously forgot. What is that thing do you ask? It is that I like alcohol, but alcohol doesn't like me very much anymore. Last Thursday I became so inebriated that I passed out on a friend's couch and when I came to it was 11 am the next day. I have NEVER done that before. There has never been a time where I fell asleep at somebody's place that was not planned much earlier. Yet, there I was. Actually, I passed out on her floor and then moved to the couch later. Thanks again, Swiz. I've also experienced more hangovers lately which could be the answer as to why I want to sleep all day.

Why do I feel like this at the end of every damn semester though? It's been like this for as long as I can remember. It's either been that I go through a period where I just can't stand being in school from start to finish, or I get to the point that I'm currently at. Am I just bored with the whole scene and looking for something new or a new subject after I've grown tired of the classes I take? The latter could be a viable option since many of the classes I have to take now seem redundant.

Perhaps there is something more to it than just a sense of boredom. I despise the way that the system is set up. As a student you are required to take certain classes in order to move on to take others. That's not a big deal to me, but when it gets down to having each individual teacher instructing what they deem important and then when you move on to those higher level courses that you were busy preparing for it turns out that some or most of what you learned really did very little in getting you ready for this next teacher's ideas of what is important and what is not. I'd much rather prefer to go at it on my own. Learning what I want to, reading what I thought would be appropriate for the task and reading on in case I wished to learn other author's dissenting viewpoints.

I would drop out and move on at this very moment if it weren't for the fact that I'd sunk so many years of my life into this endeavor. I'd start my own college and give myself an honorary doctorate in every field I could think of. Maybe I'd make up a few for good measure. I'm so sick of learning instead of doing. That's probably the best way to sum up my dilemma. Fuck all this case study work and reading about how things should be in a text book. I just want to get out there and fucking do it now.

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