Tender Chicken Booby

So as another one of my breaks from schooling comes to a close, I have yet again accomplished nothing. I had a short list of things to do this past week and I wasn't able to scratch a single one off of the paper. Yes, it was on a piece of paper. My memory is shite and I need to make reminders for myself, including all the little things like putting pants on ONE leg at a time. I used to be able to pull of the two-leg-pants-put-on when I was younger and more agile, but now the old body just won't put up with it. Last time I tried my legs just told my brain, "You're not fucking serious, are you?" Then they went on strike and I couldn't leave the house for two days. Then we struck a deal, from now on one leg at a time.

I think the thing that shocked me the most about this past week is that I didn't get a single bad comment about the horrible "thought" I wrote in the last post. Either everyone realized I was A) just kidding, B) expected that kind of crap from such an asshole such as myself, C) no one actually reads this, or D) the Spring Break festivities were wilder than I had experienced and no one was reading coherently. Now that the haze has lifted and I've brought the issue back up... Nah, no one's going to complain.

I've felt pretty shitty this weekend. Last week I went to the doctor to get this cough that I've had for months checked out. Had some X-rays taken and on Friday was told that it was "abnormal". One theory was that I had TB, however I just happened to have that test too and it came back negative. So I've got to go and get a CT of my chest and wait to see if they have any other ideas. I guess I should add that when I had originally gone in I was told that I had bronchitis or pneumonia, so when I heard I was abnormal, something I'm used to hearing by now, it caught me off guard. Hence the nagging feeling that I've had in my mind all weekend about just what the hell could be going on in my lungs and the "shitty" feeling. I'm going into this thinking that it could be cancer. On the one hand, if it is I'll be a bit more prepared to hear it. On the other I can say, "At least it's not cancer." Next time a doctor has something bad to tell me I'll just keep thinking that way. Perhaps that will soften the blow when it turns out to be for real.

Origin of the title: (VERY old writing of mine)

Ever notice how the names of the body parts of humans are sometimes used with animals as well? This never really occurred to me before, but I happened to be eating a lovely fried chicken and noticed that I was eating a chicken breast. I thought to myself, "“How strange, to be eating a piece of poultry that has a body part that I have as well."” Then I pondered about it some more and realized that the only name for a chicken breast is just that, a breast. The breast of a human has many different names: boob, tit, booby, or pec (for the males). Why not have this many names for a chicken's breast? Perhaps we may feel a bit odd at the dinner table saying, "“My that was quite a tender chicken booby dear." Or at a family barbecue one might over hear, "“Come and get these tits while they're hot."” Hearing such a thing might cause a small commotion in the neighborhood or local park.

How did the chicken leg get to be named a "“drumstick?"” It looks nothing like one. If anything it looks more like a misshaped bowling pin. Not many drummers would be able to play with a pair of short, stocky, meat covered bones. At least not the ones starting out, maybe the pros, but not the beginners.

But then I started to think of the male of the poultry species, the rooster. We don'’t eat them, but we give them a name that is quite odd: cock. Why such a name? No one in their right mind would want to be called a cock, so why a rooster? Is it because the roosters main purpose besides waking the farmer at the crack of dawn is to fornicate with the chicks? Hence the name of his highly used body part makes for a simple nickname. Or could it just be that some near-sighted farmer looked at his rooster and thought it to be a giant penis? For this idea to work the farmer would either have to be severely blind, or just really dumb. Or just a combination of both scenarios.