Recent Thoughts

It feels good to be able to babble like this again without feeling like I'm just trying to put off something important. Just take a moment to soak this in a minute with me.


The other day I was conversing with some female associates. We were joking and having a good time when the subject of pimping came up. Since I was the only guy there, of course I was designated the "pimp" and the ladies were talking about how I could use them as my "bitches." We had a good laugh and then the next day I had a thought. I could never be a successful pimp. It's not that I have an issue with the worlds oldest profession, I just can't hit a woman. Slapping a ho is a part of the pimp's job. If you don't strike fear into them, then how are you going to collect from their services. I'd be a broke pimp and then I wouldn't be able to afford the gold teeth, fuzzy hat, and cane. No self-respecting pimp would be caught without the pimp trifecta. So now my list of "jobs where I don't have to do any work" has been cut down by one.

Next story. I was walking around downtown the other day when I spotted a group of bald men walking down the street toward me. As we got closer to one another I asked, "Is this the bald club for men?" I was playing on the Hair Club for Men which is really just a group of bald guys who feel the need to cover up their shiny noggins. None of them were very big so I didn't feel like I was going to get the shit beaten out of me for saying it. They looked at one another with quizzical expressions on their faces and then they all stared right at me, with my long hair. The one in front, who I guess was their leader, then looked me right in the eye and said, "No jackass, this is a cancer support group. We're all going through chemotherapy." I stood there for a moment just thinking over what I had just said to them and realized that the expressions that I had perceived as quizzical were actually expressions of deep pain and sorrow.
Then I rubbed his head for good lucky and went on my way.

In all seriousness though, my grandmother who was diagnosed with cancer last summer is not doing as well as we had hoped she would be after going through her chemo treatment. Cancer isn't something to joke about and I think of her quite a lot as she tries to fit it. The above story was completely fictional and shows that although this story depicts me as an insensitive jackass, which I'm not, I sure do think like one all the time. Stay strong Grandma Judy, and I love you.

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