2.16.2011

Giant Spiders

I stayed late tonight to make up some work. My boss often tells me to watch out when I leave since the neighborhood is a bit seedy, even though I'm easily the largest in the office. I've never had any trouble, but there was a body found in a torched car a few months back so I'm "alert". I was already in my car and pulling out of the parking lot when I caught a shadow in my rear-view mirror.

Now this is the sequence of thoughts that quickly took place in my mind:

"That's a weird looking tree. HOLYFUCKTHERE'SAGIANTSPIDERBEHINDMYCAR!!! Wait, that's just a spider on my rear-view mirror. WAIT,THATSPIDERISONMYREAR-VIEWMIRROR!!! What kind of spider is that? WHERETHEFUCKDIDITGO?!? IS IT CRAWLING ON MY HEAD?!?"

That's all I remember because the adrenaline rush put me in a state of hyper-alertness. My mind was no longer in control and animal instinct took over. The next thing I remember is pulling up to my home and turning off the car. Or I shrieked like a little girl and swerved into oncoming traffic. It's hard to be sure.

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