8.28.2006

I Hate Michael Bay

I've got to get this off of my chest. So for those of you who aren't geeks, like yours truly, I'm going to fill you in a little here on a movie that could have been good had it not been for the inclusion of Michael Bay is director. The movie is "Transformers". Yes, the 80's franchise about robots that can disguise themselves as everyday machines to keep the rest of the world from freaking out about having giant, alien robots among them. Being a child of the 80's and cherishing all the memories, at least the ones I can remember, of those years I was elated to hear Hollywood was in the works of putting together a live-action version of it. Steven Spielberg is producing it, which is good even though he's turned in some crap in the past 5 years or so, they are attempting to bring the same voice actors back to do the voices of the Transformers from the original cartoon, but then the douchebags went and ruined the whole thing by signing up the worst director in Hollywood, yes worse than all the porn directors, Michael fucking Bay. Please use this link if you're unfamiliar with his work. I urge you to. One cannot understand my utter distaste for the man without looking at it. Also, take note on the way the guy looks. His picture just screams, "I should be directing awful, story-less porn, because that's what most of my movies turn into anyway. Without the gratuitous sex."

Someone asked me the other day, "How can you hate Michael Bay so much when he's doing "Transformers" and you're such a big geek?" Well, the geek part wasn't in there, but it was implied. I'll tell you all why right now.

Here is a pic of the lead, evil guy, Megatron from what I remember as a child, and every other geek in the world:


This is Michael Bay's bastardized version of him:

Here are some more images if you care to see them.

Now, the 80's version had Megatron changing into a gun. I can understand that in this day and age a gun is not the kind of thing you'd want to have in, what is basically, a kid's movie. So the change to a jet/plane thing is okay by me. BUT this weird-ass H.R. Geiger look is beyond me.

Bay is completely fucking with my childhood with this and I've had about as much of him as I can take now. It was one thing when he was just making shitty movies, but now he's making a shitty movie out of a beloved memory, and THAT I will not stand for.

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