8.24.2009

It's Been Awhile

And before you ask, NO, I don't have that next bit of the story written. I've been trying to get away from my computer more this past... However long it's been since I posted last. I'm too lazy to check it myself. I just have two things I want to talk about real quick. They're both commercials.

ONE! There's this PSA that is trying to deter people from drinking and driving by stating that "cops are on the lookout" and you shouldn't risk the ticket. It was kind of cool when I first saw it. They show a few cars driving down the road, swerving of course since they drivers are drunk, and to illustrate this, since the swerving wasn't enough, the car is filled with the alcoholic beverage of the driver's choice up to their waste. I think they're trying to pickle themselves. I'm pretty sure their fingers and toes were pruny. Is this a national commercial? I'd hate to be talking about this and then you haven't been able to see this piece of cinematic brilliance.

I've seen this commercial hundreds of times. During those hundreds of viewings I've realized something. The cops in this commercial are absolute idiots. Every time they show one of these mobile martini glasses getting pulled over, the cop asks, "Sir, have you been drinking tonight?" "Ociffer, what would ever give you that idea as I roll my window down and alcohol comes pouring out covering your shoes?" They show a guy blowing into a breathalyzer, but only one or two of these guys gets arrested. What happened to the others?!? How did they avoid ending up in the back of the cruiser? Did the one guy take a swing at the cop?

Okay, enough of that one.

TWO! Domino's Pizza is now advertising this free chocolate cake with the purchase of some tasteless piece of shit that they're trying to clear out of their warehouses. But, not only is it a chocolate cake, it's also filled with CHOCOLATE LAVA! Just think about that name they've given to their chocolate filling, will you? The image I see is that the moment I bite into this cake my face and the entirety of my digestive tract will be scalded with this substance that is supposed to be a delicious treat. I want to meet the ad-wizard that came up with that name and punch them in the face for taking a job that I could do and he's doing nothing with it. I could use a job like that.

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